and then we all grew up...

Do you ever look in the mirror and think ? When in the world did we all grow up?! Summer has always been the season of weddings and babies, but this summer has rocked my world with the wedding bliss chaos and baby explosions galore~
Everyone and their mother's, literally, are having kids. I recently attended my 8th baby shower THIS YEAR, and just planned and attended a wedding shower of the 6th wedding I will be attending this summer. When did we all grow up? And what am I supposed to be feeling in this weird time of being a wife and not single, but being a wife and NOT a mother....it's not at all what I'd imagined.

My sister also recently moved, and with all my friends having kids or getting married, I feel a bit lonely. Brent and I have been able to spend a ton of time together alone, which was RARE for our first two years of marraige, but now it's like I feel we have NO outlet. My friends are all Mommy now and hanging out with them seems to be a half-hearted, half-attention, half-conversation all in itself. Which I completely understand....THEY HAVE A BABY....but it makes me feel as though I just don't belong in their world of 'my eyes are looking at you, but my thoughts are on what my child is doing in the carseat next to me." Obviously, I get this mentality, and I will DEFINITELY be 'that' mother when I have kids of my own. But for now, I DON'T have kids of my own and I feel two polar opposite emotions. 1.)I feel a little left out of the 'look at my new baby' club. and 2.) I feel a little relieved that I am not in the 'look at my new baby' club.

I'm not ready to be completely absorbed in my own child and not work and stay at home all day. But I am also the woman sitting at home everynight watching movies because she has nothing better to do because all her friends are nursing, feeding, entertaining, and cuddling their new additions to the family.
It's an odd place I've found myself this summer.....

To you new mothers: You get to constantly look into the eyes of a baby YOU made with someone you love. You get to ENJOY your time with your adorable new additions because they are YOURS. They are beautiful miracles from God and you are a part of their life's journey.

To those of you who aren't in the new motherhood club: You get to take naps and relish in the idea that no one will be waking you up. You can take a walk, alone, and take as much time as YOU want with no distractions.

I guess there is immense beauty on both sides of the spectrum...I'm just walking the fine line right in between and haven't really decided which side I want to be on at the moment. However, I think I'm leaning toward the "no throw-up on my cute clothes" side....just sayin...