When the world stays sleeping

I'm a morning person. I get up early, go for a run while the sun rises and I'm good. But tonight, however, I'm up. The world is a very different place when everything is sleeping. My home is dark, so I can't see the CHAOTIC MESS of thing strewn across the living room and kitchen. Our dog is asleep, so I don't have a constant nose in my crotch begging for attention. My husband was too tired to talk to his obsessive wife any longer...he crashed. So while the world stays sleeping my blaring thoughts aren't about to let me doze into abandon.
What's on my mind? Too many things for a blog...but I'm disappointed in myself as of late. Do you ever feel like you are not enough, and then you make others feel like they are not enough? As if you can even out the negative score on yourself if you just let others know they aren't up to par either.....what is that SICK part of our nature? It's an ugly beast that loiters, just waiting for the right moment to jump in and remind us, "Let them know they aren't perfect either...remember the time they forgot to _____________..."
Well, it's come time to 'turn on the light' and let the sun rise on the scattered mess on my mind and heart...It's time to bring on the spotlight and reveal the chaos that has been allowed to sit too long.
Wish me luck. While the world sleeps tonight, a light has been turned on and a deep cleaning is about to begin in me. While it's liberating and refreshing, it takes time and sometimes it just plain sucks to have to clean everything up. But it's my own mess....